What a Flower Taught Me About Visibility and Authenticity
I was walking through my pollinator garden yesterday morning, coffee in hand, doing my usual “let’s see what’s blooming” lap. My wildflower patch is a sea of yellow/orange cosmos flowers this year. A tangle of the same warm, sunny color, all nodding along in the breeze like they got the same memo even though I planted a wildflower pack with 20 different types of flowers.
Then I saw it. One white cosmos. Just one. Standing right in the middle of all that yellow and orange, doing its own thing. Look at that.
One Flower, a Different Color
My first thought was “what type of flower is that, and how did that one end up so different from the rest?” And then I caught myself, because that’s exactly the wrong way to see it.
That white flower isn’t a yellow/orange flower that missed the mark. It’s not confused, and it’s not trying (and failing) to be like its neighbors. Its roots never said “grow up and be yellow like everybody else.” Its roots said, “you are a white flower, so bloom into a white flower.” And that’s exactly what it did. No apologizing, no dimming itself down to blend into the patch. Just a full, unapologetic white cosmos, catching the morning light.
Why We Don't Give Ourselves the Same Permission
Here’s the part that got me: as people, we rarely give ourselves that same permission.
We look around at what everyone else in our industry is doing. Same offer, same launch strategy, same tone of voice. And we quietly start bending ourselves toward it. Not because it’s who we are, but because it’s what’s already blooming around us and it looks like it’s working. We tell ourselves we’re being “professional” or “strategic.” Really, we’re just trying to match those around us who seem to be successful.
What Keeps Us From Being Visible
I often hear a version of this in my work. I had a client tell me flat out, visibility has been her struggle for years. Not because she didn’t have something worth saying. Because some part of her kept waiting for permission to say it in her own voice, her own way, instead of the way she thought a “real” business owner was supposed to sound. Then she caught herself mid-sentence and said something important and worth repeating: “I’m the only one who’s kept me stuck.”
I had another client expressing fear of being visible and sharing her work because what if the haters from high school show up and criticize her? So it felt safer not to let her light and work be visible. Thankfully, she overcame that and put herself out there.
That’s the whole thing, isn’t it? Nobody planted a sign in the middle of the cosmos patch telling that white flower to knock it off and turn yellow. No one said, you should hide because the other flowers might make fun of you. It just bloomed exactly as it was built to bloom. We’re usually the ones putting the sign up that tells us to “fit in” with what others expect or are doing, or to hide to avoid being visible.
Everything Starts at the Roots
This is why I start every client relationship at the roots, not the ideal client or the marketing plan. Before we touch your offers, your pricing, or your content calendar, we look at your Kolbe Index and your Human Design, because those are part of your roots. They tell you about who you actually are and how you’re wired to think, decide, and work, before anyone else’s opinion got involved. You can’t build an aligned trunk and branches on top of roots that are trying to be somebody else’s.
I’ll say it again because it’s true: if you want to be a pear tree, be a pear tree. Stop trying to fruit like the apple tree next to you. Your roots already know what you are. Your job is just to let it show.
Your business is meant to be rooted in who you are, just like that white cosmos. Your authenticity matters, and your roots help you uncover that so you can weave it into your work and your visibility.
Bloom as the One You Already Are
So take a second and look at your own patch. Where have you been quietly dimming your color to match the flowers around you? What would it look like to just bloom as the one you already are?
That white cosmos didn’t ask for permission. Maybe it’s time we stopped waiting for it too.
Your roots already know what is meant to bloom. The question is whether you’re listening, or whether you’re still out there trying to match everyone around you.
So sit with that for a second. What are your roots telling you? What do you keep dimming down because it feels safer to blend in?
